


when I get my gears straight

by Cecile



Category: Sorted (Website) RPF
Genre: Angst, Break Up, M/M, One Shot, Post-Break Up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-13
Updated: 2021-02-13
Packaged: 2021-03-13 00:26:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,037
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29393349
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cecile/pseuds/Cecile
Summary: It was too easy to fall in love with James.And too hard to fall out of it.
Relationships: James Currie/Mike Huttlestone
Comments: 11
Kudos: 17





	when I get my gears straight

**Author's Note:**

> What’s up, I’m new to this fandom, have read all 37 works on this pairing multiple times so now I have to write my own to have more. Please give feedback, especially on characterization – I don’t know them too well yet and don’t want to fall into ‘fanon’ tropes too much!
> 
> Word is my only beta-reader so I’m sorry for any other mistakes!
> 
> Totally based on this tumblr post (especially that last photo in the 'comment'): https://sordidfood.tumblr.com/post/183928551495/james-checking-up-on-mike-during-ultimate-battles
> 
> Title is a lyric from "Free" by Natalia Kills feat. will.i.am. Nothing to do with the story, I just had the urge to listen to the song while I was writing this fic.

Sure, he wasn’t the best home chef of the three. Sure, he’d not gotten any medals for their recent technical cooking challenge. He was constantly the weak link in the Pass it On challenges, either not catching on to what the previous cook was doing, or failing to prepare for the next. He got stressed out easily as soon as there was a timer in play. Like his thoughts turned sluggish as soon as the stop clock started, with his body overspinning to compensate.

In terms of recipes, he loved thinking out of the box and trying new things, but in terms of actual cooking, he was Sorted’s problem child. But he knew this, and played it to his strengths, cracking jokes to the camera whenever he was feeling like having a mental breakdown, giving a wink and his patent twinkly smile, and giving himself low ratings and low expectations so at least the other guys wouldn’t pile onto him when he unfathomably came in last place, was the one who screwed up the dish, or got pulled down to earth after being too cocky.

But despite this constant downpour on his self-esteem, there was an upside to it: James. Anytime the format allowed it, James would come to Mike’s workstation and walk him through the steps that Mike had carefully written down, but crumpled up in a panic. He gave him encouraging smiles when Mike was unsure, directed his attention to pans that were boiling over, and generally anchored the storm that was Mike; through words, through little touches, through incredibly intimate hugs.

He loved it when James was on camera. His soft-spoken snark brought out the best in the rest of the group, even heightening viewer engagement, because, like him, the comments were gagging for all the James they could get. But that also meant that James was leaning on a wall on the far side of the room, making comments Mike often couldn’t hear from the distance. It meant that whenever James was being helpful, it was either offered through a garlic press of sass or blurted out because he couldn’t help himself.

When James wasn’t in the video, his check-ins on Mike were just for the two of them. Next to a camera but pointedly a good thirty centimeters back so he wouldn’t be in any of the shots. Or at least he’d start out that way, drifting closer as time went on, fingers visibly itching to help Mike salvage his dish.

“You’re doing well. You have enough time to start the meringue over if the egg whites don’t peak.”

“Don’t forget to pre-heat the oven and let the dough rest in the fridge for a bit.”

“Keep an eye on your courgette”, was one of those reminders. And he must have seen a twinkle in Mike’s eyes of what was on his mind because the next thing James said was “Oh, stop it!”, but laughed anyway.

Those smiles, careful nudges and attentive reminders were what Mike loved about James butting in on shoots. Hell, even when he was on camera, he often didn’t draw attention to Mike’s failures unless he could give a tip on how to improve it.

It was too easy to fall in love with James.

And too hard to fall out of it.

~.~.~.~.~.~

He doesn’t know how it even started. No, that’s not true, he knows exactly how it started. Mike had been in a great mood after finally winning one battle or another, and gone on to record a _Janice voiceover_ , putting in some particular spice when it came to James because he just looked so soft in that video, and Mike loved riling him up when James couldn’t defend himself.

When it was finally published and James saw it, he sat on Mike’s desk, arms crossed in front of his chest, one leg slung over the other. Sitting in front of the mouse, but more importantly, the gun show, prevented Mike from continuing his work.

“Why do you always single me out in the voice-overs?”, James asked.

“Because you’re hot and the audience loves you.” Mike didn’t even have to lie.

He could see heat creeping up James’s neck and grinned mischievously.

“But Barry’s gorgeous, too, and the audience loves him”, the younger man struggled to get out.

 _I need a place to let out my sexual frustrations, and Janice is the only place where it’s socially acceptable_ , Mike thought.

But he didn’t say that.

Instead, he was even more bold and said: “But I’ve also been friends with Barry since childhood, so just thinking ‘Barry’ and ‘sexy’ in the same sentence makes me gag.”

“Does this mean you think I’m sexy?”, James let out, baffled, his arms uncrossing and falling to his sides.

“Everyone does, mate”, Mike said and got up out of his chair, planning to press a kiss on James’s cheek and casually walk away to grab a coffee. But what he hadn’t planned for is the jerky snap of James’s head towards him at this admission, and Mikes momentum as he shot up. So instead of a light peck on the cheek, Mike planted a long smooch right on James’s lips before he could catch himself. Involuntarily, Mike melted into it, feeling James’s soft lips and scratchy beard against his own.

But James’s brain hadn’t caught up yet, so Mike had time to right himself, throw some cheeky finger guns and head for the coffee maker, hoping he wasn’t stumbling.

~~~

He couldn’t believe it. He’d actually kissed James. He’d somehow accidentally gotten the perfect set-up (his _own_ perfect set-up, even, with flirty banter and a soft, baffled James), and actually kissed the guy who’d been living rent free in his head for God knew how long. And then the typical Huttlestone-panic had set in and he’d ruined it with finger guns, of all things.

He stayed by the coffee maker until he finished his cup, poured himself another one and started a new pot, basically until he was sure James wouldn’t still be at his desk.

The rest of the day was spent editing, planning out future videos and a meeting with Jamie that was dragged out unnecessarily. So, when he’d finished the last pass over a video and it was time to leave, Mike had pushed the incident with James to the back of his mind.

That was, until James caught up with him at the door and said: “Hey Mike, we never finished our conversation!”

And Mike was acutely aware that they were the only two people left in the studio. No excuse to get out of the conversation. Was James mad that Mike had kissed him? He could go with the truth – but too much momentum and a mistimed headshake somehow seemed like a flimsy excuse. It had felt so different to the time he and Barry had called each other’s bluffs in some challenge video and shared a quick peck on the lips. This was a deep kiss, romantic feeling that had been bottled inside him, now flowing out.

And surely, James must have felt that, and realized what the panicked finger guns had meant.

“Oh yeah?”, Mike prompted nervously, not wanting to steer the conversation in any particular direction.

“You didn’t let me finish”, James said, but before Mike could say anything (and what would he even say?), James had already closed the distance and was kissing him.

Two strong hands grasped his head: one on his neck and the other one on his cheek. Not too forcefully, but tender and pointed enough to know that this was James’s intention, that he wanted to kiss Mike, that he had perhaps wanted to for a long time, as well.

~~~

They fell into an easy routine after that. Stolen touches here and there, kisses after hours and dates turned into nights, turned into arriving at work suspiciously shortly after one another, one of them in the previous day’s outfit and changing into fresh clothes at the studio where they’d left an extra outfit for shoots.

They didn’t want to tell the others yet, wanted to soak in the budding love of a new relationship, even one that had been building over years. Mike read the comments a lot more frequently now, trying to see if the relationship was apparent to viewers where it wasn’t to his friends. And a couple of viewers pointed out the soft smiles that now accompanied each piece of advice James quietly gave to Mike, or the flirty ribbing that Mike was now much more prone to, which turned to saucy whenever James was on the receiving end.

And James gave as good as he got, returning every wink with a sassy jab of his own, purposefully including ingredients in dishes that Mike would hate, just to goad him.

So, he does know when it all started, but what he doesn’t know, is when it went downhill.

~~~

It was the little things at first. James choosing not to sit next to Mike anymore. Needing to stay behind after work to complete recipe labs that could have waited for the next day. A weekend with Mike’s parents that James didn’t come to, claiming ‘work reasons’. They worked at the same work, for God’s sake.

Then: an unanswered text. _How was your weekend?_

An avoided kiss, fewer touches throughout the day, a cautious air around James.

A “Can we talk over drinks?”, when they left work, spoken tentatively enough that Mike knew it wouldn’t be good news.

A small coke for James. This would be a brief conversation.

And it was.

An “I think we should break up.”

A “why” not wholly answered.

A kiss on the cheek, a hand under the chin to make him look into James’s eyes. A sad, parting smile that only made this so much worse.

So Mike chugged his beer and ordered two shots. Downed them, then didn’t know what to do with himself. Didn’t want to think about it yet. So instead of taking the Tube, where he’d be left alone with his thoughts, he ran all the way home.

~~~

He called in sick the next day, didn’t care that he’d been completely healthy the day before. He must have sounded so miserable over the phone that Ben didn’t even ask what was wrong with him, just wished him a speedy recovery.

He wallowed in his misery, of a relationship that’s end had come too rash, too unadvised, too sudden. Started three romance movies and realizing, each time, that they either had a happy ending (and were definitely not what he needed right now), or had a sad ending simply because their families didn’t agree with the couple’s love. And not, as it was Mike’s case, that the gorgeous romantic interest had realized that their quirky partner was below his standards and not as interesting or endurable as he’d thought they would be, and with way less redeemable qualities than expected.

Mike cried a million times before his tears finally dried up. He considered staying home again the next day, but Jamie shot him a message asking if he was alright, and Mike smiled at his friend’s concern. He’d had had these friends first, and they would stay his friends. So if anyone was going to leave, it would have to be James. He’d not give him the satisfaction.

 _Just a little bug, will be back in the studio tomorrow_.

~.~.~.~

But getting out of bed was hard that next morning, so he put on his comfy pink hoodie, faded from washes and love. He’d not slept well at all, one day really wasn’t enough to get over a heartbreak, and that was definitely visible in his dark under-eye circles. He didn’t bother with shaving; he didn’t have the patience and didn’t want to end up with a million cuts on his face. Plus, he’d come in unshaven often enough that nobody would bat an eye.

Mike took a deep breath before he entered the studio. They’d never told the others about them, it was still all so new, so delicate. And that was a good thing, because now Mike didn’t have to break the bad news to them. He simply greeted them with a “Morning, mates”, and could push his grumpiness onto his feigned ‘bug’.

Facing James was harder. Much harder. When they caught each other’s eye over the length of the studio, time froze. The pain had been dull enough this morning, but was now searing hot in his heart. A panic attack slowly building. But no, he would not be the first to look away. And he wasn’t, so Mike had at least two grains of dignity as he dropped onto his chair, trying to calm down.

The others left him alone as much as they could, sensing his awful mood and his desire to be alone. (The sad thing was, Mike would have loved it if Barry or Jamie or Ben had asked him what was wrong, would have spilled his entire heart to them, to have someone to confide in).

To his credit, James at least avoided him the entire time, even going to the test kitchen to make himself a coffee when he saw that Mike was sorting all the flavors at the coffee station in reverse alphabetical order, needing something to do with his hands and mind, procrastinating a final edit on a James-heavy video.

The afternoon schedule foresaw a battle between the three normals, and although it would be taxing on his already drained mind, he found himself looking forward to it. For a while, he was able to get lost in the cooking challenge, the delicious food that would be the outcome (having only had pizza and ice cream the day before), and the banter with Barry and Jamie.

“What’s going on, Mike? You’re so quiet today”, Barry commented during a lull in conversation.

“Just lost in the sauce, I guess”, Mike said and gestured to the sauce he had reducing on the stovetop. The others groaned and he could already picture himself recording Janice’s voice-over later, saying _Oh dear_.

Mike was focused on his cooking, and somehow was a lot less stressed out than normal. Probably because he needed all of his brain to ignore the low murmur between Ben and James, couldn’t stand to think about what James might be saying about him. He needed to know what he was saying, but knew that it would devastate him if James was critiquing him. He almost started crying when his name from James’s lips pierced through to him anyway. It took a good minute to catch himself again, and he didn’t even have onions to blame.

Luckily, they were now in the stage of the battle where everyone was feeling the time pressure, focused on pulling together their own dish rather than sabotaging their opponents, and no cameras were on him, so nobody noticed that James was just standing there with his back to the others, making small movements to appear busy but not doing anything but regaining control.

Which meant he didn’t hear that James had snuck up on him, back to his usual place out of shot, with a whispered: “Are you all right?”

And Mike couldn’t. Wouldn’t. Definitely would not burst out crying in front of his ex-boyfriend who had dumped him only two days before, and who was now so insightful again, so soft-spoken and sweet as if the last six months had never happened. So, he turned a cold shoulder, and gave a curt “Fine”, before returning to his work. Studiously not looking up at James.

He’d changed his recipe last-minute, now purposefully making a dish that James hated, just to spite the man. And he knew James knew that, but he was looking forward to seeing him struggle eating it later.

But for now, he was ignoring James, who was… still hovering near him? Why was he still there? Mike didn’t need – or want – his help, and looming definitely didn’t help.

He noticed Ben engaging with the other contenders, an Mike threw in a few quips as well, hoping to signal to James that he should return to his co-judge, but the man didn’t budge, except to come even closer to the counter. It was really getting on his nerves, and so he made a mistake. Threw two whole cloves of garlic into a pot instead of chopping them first, instantly realizing his mistake.

“You need to chop the garlic before-“, James started cautiously.

“I know”, interrupted Mike instantly with a sigh, defeated.

“I’m just trying to help”, James said placatingly.

“Well, you’re not”, Mike countered sourly while fishing the cloves out of the pot with his fingers. He got one out successfully but touched the hot fat sizzling in the pot on the second one. He yelled out a curse before instinctively stuffing the offended finger in his mouth, before thinking better and holding it under running water.

“Shit, are you okay?”, James asked, and Mike couldn’t stop his outburst of anger.

“Fuck off, James!”, he said, louder than intended, momentarily silencing the rest of the set.

~.~.~.~

He later made sure that none of his altercation with James made it into the final edit of the video. Just like many other snippets between them in later videos that were laced with anger, hurt, and cautious olive branches. Nobody ever asked him, and he was sure they didn’t ask James either, but somehow everyone knew what had happened between him and James. Those beautiful six months of bliss that had come to such an abrupt end for Mike, that had probably been only a few weeks of enjoyment for James before the harsh daylight of reality slowly pointed out more and more of Mike’s flaws.

And Mike had been wrong. It wasn’t fun at all seeing James trying to hide his gagging as he tried Mike’s dish. Turns out he didn’t like seeing someone he loved struggle. And that’s what James was. He’d broken his heart and they had to remain co-workers. James was someone that Mike loved. And it would stay like that for a long time before it faded.

Hopefully it would fade.

**Author's Note:**

> Soo... this was supposed to be a short half-hour blurb for me to get my feelings out, instead it turned into 5 hours and over 3 k, so please leave a comment! <3


End file.
